Opinion: Chess Offers a Safer Place for Children to Practice Emotional Muscles
A father shares his experience of how chess helped his twice-exceptional son develop emotional muscles and build confidence.
For children who think or learn differently, finding a place to practice emotional muscles can be a challenge. In school, mistakes can feel public and heavy, affecting a child's self-perception. However, chess can offer a smaller and safer space for children to develop these essential skills.
The author, a father of a twice-exceptional child, discovered the value of chess in helping his son build confidence. His son, Harry, was curious and capable but struggled to fit into traditional categories. Chess provided an arena where Harry could practice handling frustration, impulsivity, and self-doubt.
In chess, a child can make a move and see the immediate feedback without feeling humiliated. A lost piece is not a ruined day, and a mistake is not a permanent label. This can be powerful for children who struggle with frustration, impulsivity, perfectionism, or self-doubt.
Chess gives kids a place to practice life skills, such as pausing before acting, considering the whole board, and making choices. These skills are essential for children to develop when faced with challenges. Chess is especially beneficial for neurodivergent children, gifted children, ADHD kids, autistic kids, twice-exceptional kids, and children who may be bright but easily overwhelmed.
The goal of chess is not to turn every child into a tournament player but to provide a practice space. Children can benefit from chess without trophies, rankings, private coaching, or long tournaments. Playing a short game, moving only a few pieces, and talking through one decision can be enough.
Visible improvement is also a significant aspect of chess. A child can look back and see growth, realizing that effort can become skill. This realization can be profound for kids who think differently, as it builds confidence through evidence.
Chess deserves a place in the conversation about how to support kids who do not fit the mold. It is inexpensive and portable, making it accessible to be played in various settings, such as classrooms, libraries, afterschool programs, community centers, and homes.
In conclusion, chess can help a child feel capable, especially for those who think or learn differently. It provides a safer place for children to practice emotional muscles, develop life skills, and build confidence.
